5notz:

cryptotheism:

cryptotheism:

Hello, I’m the devil. You should engage in the Dionysian, Kierkegaardian, pleasure of getting day drunk and posting your opinions about god on the internet as if they were inarguable fact.

Your neurotransmitters are just damp enough to be holy my friend. Go on, find some discourse and really comment on it. Give em a real piece of your mind. These clowns just don’t know the electrochemical tango like you do, superstar.

xxuji:

yyugix:

birds cant serve cunt

i bet you feel really stupid rn

hollowboobtheory:

hollowboobtheory:

guys that tumble dried packer came to life

this one

depsidase:

teathattast:

teathattast:

teathattast:

Mad because you don’t have bird vision?

Seethe . You will never b them

godshideouscreation:

gayfour:

the-haiku-bot:

thisiswhymomworries:

3tno:

thisiswhymomworries:

how many synonyms for “penis” do I actually know?

and how many of those synonyms am I actually willing to use

tier 1 (most accepted, considered sexy): cock, dick

tier 2 (generally accepted): length, manhood, member, shaft

tier 3 (clinical, too formal, but not cheesy): groin, penis, phallus

tier 4 (cheesy, barely acceptable): [insert name] Jr., dong, junk, knob, prick, rod, tool, wand, wood

tier 5 (ridiculous, unacceptable, pls don’t): anything to do with beer cans, baby-maker, bishop, choad, donger, dragon, fuck wand, fun stick, hog, johnson, jimmy, lap rocket, little [insert name], love muscle/rod/stick, meat stick, one-eyed [anything], piston, private eye, schlong, trouser snake, wiener, winkie

tier 6 (you’re literally a fourth grader): baby arm, baloney pony, beaver basher, beef whistle, custard launcher, dude piston, flesh flute, heat-seeking moisture missile, krull the warrior king, luigi, mayo shooting hotdog gun, meter long king kong dong, pig skin bus, piss weasle, purple-headed yogurt flinger, purple-helmeted warrior of love, schlong dongadoodle, single barreled pump action bollock, spawn hammer, steamin’ semen truck, tan banana, thundersword, wang doodle, whoopie stick, wing wang doodle, yogurt shotgun 

tier 3 (clinical,

too formal, but not cheesy):

groin, penis, phallus

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

afeelgoodblog:

Blahaj in a suit

passionpeachy:

harp seal: beautiful heavenly angel so perfect

harbour seal: about what you’d expect…..puppy

weddell seal: 34 year old man named Wilfred

vamuelle:

homoluigi:

https://www.antiquetrader.com/art/rare-sand-art-by-andrew-clemens-sets-world-record 

Andrew Clemens is my favorite example of an likely autistic artisan from the 19th century. His sand art is amazing and looks impossible.

mahou-mofo:

karmaphone:

what do you call this genre of movie

fullfrontalfish:

leofwines:

THDI IS FUCKING KILLING MEEEE

This little guy is experiencing Thoughts and Emotions

kleefkruid:

I was looking at seagull stickers for my instagram story and I came across seagulls saying supportive things like “You matter! <3” and that’s the first time I’ve gone “He would not fucking say that” over an animal. These birds are fueled by spite. They would yell slurs if they could. Not even the right ones. A seagull would call an old lady a faggot they don’t care

first-order-simulacra:

newkidsonmycock36:

giffindersite:

Scarecrow level=1000

lets get sillay

babushka off her shits lets gooooo